A Screwtop Letter
Written by Blayne Banting, DMin, PhD
My dear Wormward,
It has been recently drawn to my attention that you have been assigned to a certain Impatient who is bound and determined to keep his local congregation from adopting a co-vocational model of the church. While I am well aware he is persuaded this whole move to co-vocational ministry is from us, it is your responsibility to keep him firmly of this mind. We must always be on the alert for the ways of our Enemy who has this annoying habit of spoiling our fun by speaking the truth.
There is much you may do to keep Impatient from making an embarrassing about face just when we have him where we want him. Thankfully he is part of a local assembly that has a helpful habit of remaining loyal to the way things have always been done, even when they have long since outlived their purpose. We can only hope this trend continues.
Part of your role is to assure Impatient of the importance of stability and respectability in a time of great upheaval. If we can steel his resolve in this regard, he will not have the time or inclination to ponder who has orchestrated this upheaval in the first place. Confusion can be one of our greatest allies, so do all you can to welcome his presence. The longer Impatient feels the need to maintain the present order of things, the greater your chances of accomplishing your goal.
Nostalgia can be a helpful tool when used wisely. In our favour is the fact Impatient can remember what he terms The Good Old Days when life seemed more predictable, and his church was there to meet his needs when he seemed most vulnerable. But here is where the danger lies. Spend your time on the form of things rather than the function. If you misplay your hand, you might remind him of the solace and support given to him when he needed it most. It might lead him to care more for the service given than the form it took. This could be disastrous, so be alert.
While nostalgia can be a two-edged sword, pride can seldom backfire. The fact that Impatient has contributed to the well-being of the congregation in the past through his serving and giving is a foothold you can use even though you are not as experienced as some of your peers. The personal pride and accomplishment of such people make them prone to congratulate themselves rather than acknowledging the work of the Enemy. Personal pride can cloud matters and give you the kind of advantage you need.
Another helpful tool is the human predilection to competition. Part of the pride of Impatient is how his congregation has compared favorably to other churches in the community. His concern for how the relative success of his congregation fares if they adopt a co-vocational model can serve as a powerful ally in our cause. This competition between congregations has been working in our favour for years. Use it wisely.
A final weapon at your disposal may indeed be your best. Impatient, like so many others in the congregation, is unduly affected by fear of the unknown. The alarming possibility of not knowing what lies ahead if their congregation goes co-vocational fills him with dread and can steel his resolve to promote the status quo. The more diffused you can make this fear the better. When fear has an identifiable object there is a possibility it might be overcome and then we are back to square one. Try to keep the fear formless and ubiquitous. Fray his nerves, help him become more reactionary and suspicious. That way there is less chance of someone maintaining a non-anxious presence or the group trusting the Enemy in the face of the unknown. Trust is the Enemy’s currency and so do everything you can to make sure it is in short supply.
I have every confidence in your ability to apply my advice as you have in the past. Use your head, stay in the shadows, never tip your hand, and you should be successful. Another congregation caught in a downward spiral is almost as satisfying as one that closes their doors. This kind of work will enhance your standing with our superiors and pave the way for even more challenging assignments in the future.
Sincerely,
Your Uncle Screwtop
Blayne Banting is Associate Professor of Preaching and Christian Ministry at Briercrest College and Seminary. He teaches in the areas of homiletics, church leadership, and spiritual formation, with a particular interest in creativity and humour in preaching. Born and raised in Saskatchewan, Blayne has served as both pastor and professor across Canada. He is the author of several books on preaching, including Taking Up Preaching: The Spheres of the Preaching Life (Wipf & Stock, 2023). Blayne is married to Peggy, and together they have four adult children and six grandchildren.